I give myself permission to pat myself on the back for doing a good job even though I have missed things here and there. The obvious changes I am experiencing only confirms that I need to be kinder to myself cause things are a’changin for the better. Maybe not as fast as they could if I did a little more but it’s noticeable to myself and others which is pretty cool.
Some things going on for me this upcoming weeks are going to require a strong effort on my part to get through some of it. Next Friday I am flying to Orlando from Portland, OR. (I don’t love flying but better than I used to be) for a half business trip half mini vacation. Sunday-Tuesday is the Summit which means I am going to miss my first Webinar that Sunday and that makes me sad. I will get to golf somewhere spectacular that day though so I think I will be ok, haha. Anyway my wife and 3 year old daughter are joining me cause the likely hood of going to FLA again is slim to none and we are literally staying at Disney World Hotel so my girls and I will have a blast for a couple days.
I also have good friends that live 45 mins away from there and they are going to come watch my daughter for an evening so the wife and i will get a night on the town. Kindness all over the place. I will also get to golf with said friend (2 times in 1 week, whoo hoo!!)
All this is great and easy. The part that is going to be hard is that my biological father who was 16 when I was born supposedly lives a couple hours from where I will be staying and I have never met him. I have put off trying for my entire life except once when i was 19 but it didn’t work out. I have done some Internet searches to know avail regarding contact information but I think I found a cousin on Facebook the other day but he hasn’t reached back out.
It’s funny, how I went so long without caring, but that the moment last week that I wanted it to happen I have been almost obsessive. My subby has taken over on this attempted mission so quickly because of MKMMA. I trust that somehow it is going to work out but if it doesn’t it won’t be due to lack of effort on my part and I will be able to live with myself. I can’t force him to do anything, I can only control myself and my thoughts.
Until next time……